It's a Feature

Have you heard of smart phones?  They have a wide angle sort of lens in the front 

facing camera so you can fit as many friends as possible into your fun house distortion 

world of body dismorphia and self-loathing.  It's not an oversight--it's a feature!  

With every passing year we move technology forward in meaningful ways.  

Thank you for being here with me to witness the unfolding of this glorious digital age.

(Note that you can lessen this effect by having the phone farther away from your face.  
But if you have short arms like me and are too socially awkward to even  purchase and use 
a selfie stick alone in your own home, then you are doomed.  You could use the self timer 

I guess, but who has time for that?)